Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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