Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
