On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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