Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
