plz talk dirty to me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
