she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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