That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
