So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
