Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
