i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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