i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My vagina is officially offended.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
