called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
