At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
