Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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