69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
