The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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