considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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