idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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