I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
