Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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