im about as happy as oj after his trial
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
