Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
In other news, I just burned my penis
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
