we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
