Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize