i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
