Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize