The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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