well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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