I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
