How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
