When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
