Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My vagina is officially offended.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
