need another drink. this is the easiest way
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I forget how to act sober
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