I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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