You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
