i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
someone owes me an orgasm
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
