I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
