she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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