I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
