I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
