Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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