Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
