No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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