if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
please come you make the beer taste better
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
