I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He passed out mid-signature
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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