Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just google imaged poop.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
