its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
