I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Every concussion has its silver lining
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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