idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
