It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
