you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I supernannyed him into submission
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize