He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
