you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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