obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
