It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
