you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
