just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
