I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
