I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
