He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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