I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
