Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize