you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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