My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
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