mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize