Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
