Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
