The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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