i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize