Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
