remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I want a musical about memes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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